Wednesday, July 27, 2011

The top 10 things that just need to stop

I have a low tolerance for crimes of fashion.  Now let me say this, I have been a violator in the past of some fashion crimes, but just make me cringe every time I see them.  It’s like people are screaming for help.
10. Crocs

Now I understand you might work in the medical profession and you need these for comfort.  I’ll even let that chef Mario Batali slide when he wears them. For the everyday common folk like us, please wear something else.  If it’s the ease you are looking for, try a flip flop.
9. Sagging Pants

I have never been a fan of sagging pants.  What’s the point of wearing pants that are two sizes too big, then some gym shorts, then your boxers or whatever the hell you are wearing under all that excess clothes? Oh and don’t forget the belt to hold up your pants around your knees.  From what I know about sagging, it means you are taken in prison.  YES TAKEN.  So I’m guessing all you little boys sagging is taken… O_o
8. Really Bad Weaves

I must admit, in my younger days, I was a victim of the bad weaves. My friend Iza will never let me forget about the bad weave days either.  Now so she won’t have any more material against me, I don’t get bad weaves.  Ladies and some Gents, getting a hair weave is an investment. If you can’t afford to keep up with your investment, then don’t get one!  And please don’t end up like Naomi Campbell and her weave.  Sometimes you just have to give your hair a break!
7. Really torn jeans
these are nice

not so much

Now there are torn jeans. They have holes in them and are slightly frayed. Then there are the over ripped jeans that just need to be tossed in the trash.  We really don’t need to see your ass cheeks hanging out while at the mall.
6. Logos everywhere

What’s the best way to show people you aint never had nothing? Wearing logos from head to toe.  I’m not a huge fan of purses that have the huge logos, but when you are also wearing shoes, the hat and a shirt (which is most likely fake) it’s a bit of overkill.  One logo piece is enough.
5. Bright Colored hair

If you hair color is a bright red, pink, purple, green or any color that is not naturally grown, you need to have a seat and change that hair color.  Ok I can understand when you are young and you are experimenting with color, but how you expect anyone to take you seriously with neon pink hair.
4. Sneaker Heel

I’m pretty sure that those heels you are rocking with the Nike swoosh on them aren’t real.  And you know what else they are? They are not cute.  Just because Beyonc√© rocked them in 2004 doesn’t mean you should be rocking them now. Most of yall can hardly walk in heels as it is.
3. Teva Sandals with everything

I’m pretty sure that the Teva sandals are comfortable as hell to wear when doing your outdoor activities such as hiking, in fact I would love to wear a pair for my outdoor activities.  If your one of those people who wear Teva sandals for every single activity you do, please stop.  I hate to see women in nice summer dresses with it all ruined by rocking the Teva sandals.
2.  Back fat

If your back looks like its growing breasts, you have back fat issues and you need to cover it up.  This is all I need to say about this.
1.  Gladiator Sandals/ shoes

Ladies, when you wear these shoes, they make you look short and stumpy.  Unless you are Gisele, you have no reason to pick these up.  If you think I’m full of it, look at other women and see how this style of shoe cuts off your leg and makes you look shorter than you already are.  And the shoes with all the straps going up your legs don’t help the situation either.  Your legs have to be super skinny to pull these off, otherwise they look like sausages wrapped in twine.

These are all my opinions. but im mostly right about everything.


  1. Props for this post--you're definitely on point! Ughh crocs.. kill me inside. I never got the whole torn jeans look either. Probably because I don't have spare cash hanging around.. why would you want to purchase something already damaged? And yeah, overdoing logos is so tacky! It's nice to have nice things for the quality and the classic look--no need to be screaming it to the world! And oh man, don't get me started on the sneaker heels. The Nike/Jordan branded ones are so FAKE. Ughh!

  2. BWAHAHAHAHA! This was great! Thank you. :)

  3. Taking them individually...

    Crocs: I have no problem with them, provided the wearer is a woman. So wrong on men, though.
    Sagging pants: They make you look like a doofus, and nobody wants to see your drawers, anyway.
    Really bad weaves: Right up there with a comb-over.
    Really torn jeans: If your jeans acquire holes, rips, and tears from age, that's okay. Jeans that are hacked up at the factory are not. And there comes a time when they need to go away regardless.
    Logos everywhere: I have no problem wearing something with a logo that I like, but I rarely do that anymore. Garments covered with logos just make you look ridiculous. I'd want a clothing company to pay me to sport their logo, not the other way around.
    Bright-colored hair: If it's not a natural hair color, your hair shouldn't be that color.
    Sneaker heels: Sneakers are ugly, and so are lots of heels. Whoever thought of combining them needs a good hard slap!
    Teva sandals with everything: Tevas look very sexy on women, so I have no problem with that. They make men look like complete wusses,'ll never see me wearing them.
    Back fat: If your back looks like the one in the picture, it needs to be covered up. Please.
    Gladiator sandals: Again, they look great on women. But we no longer live in ancient Rome; therefore, men shouls not wear them (or any other sandals). At all.

    I'd have put those vomit-inducing sneaker heels at a higher spot, and Uggs would have shown up in the top two, as well.